Many of have bad days because life is full of ups and downs, but when most of your days are gloomy, dark and dingy, sadness might not be the only problem. Many people suffer from depression and they don’t even know it. Sometimes they can’t explain why they feel so hopeless when opportunities are all around them. They can’t fully embrace the good in their lives because the causes that lead to the depression haven’t been dealt with, so these taint everything the person does and experiences. One of the worst feelings that a depressed person has is that of knowing they have so much potential to be great and do great things, but they feel inadequate, almost hopeless that their situation will change. They know deep down that they are not what they’re meant to be. I got another memoir from my good friend Kg, as she shares about her experience with depression.
Lord, I feel down, almost depressed for no apparent reason. And I dnt have any reason 2 be, like I’ve got a good family, good friends, good hobbies and a life of opportunities. Bt when I woke up this morning, I woke up with a hole in my heart & a pitch black cloud over my head. My heart felt heavy with a mixture of despair, sadness, emptiness, boredom, aaargh I cnt fully explain hw dark & dingy it was. It was as if sum1had switched the lites off in my present and future. All I cud see was a big black whole. I still feel it nw. I feel empty inside, bt an emptiness that hurts, that’s longing to be refreshed. Ive had this feeling all my life, whether things were going gud or bad; an innate feeling that no1 truly knws or understands me bt @ the same time, im distant and numb to myself. All that ive been doing made me feel good, it brought happiness & I got to see the world, bt after the effect had weared off, the truth of the matter resurfaced, a big black whole. I always feel like crying, bt I feel like the tears are so deep down in the well of my heart, that they can’t come to the surface. I constantly think that something’s wrong with me, bt I can’t pinpoint it. Im oblivious to compliments, even tho they help lift me up & negative comments are all too common, ppl coming and going is all too common. I wonder if I’ll ever be truly loved & committed to, I sometimes wonder if the God of creation will ever be able 2 go 2 these places in my heart and fill them with His glory, with Himself. I’ve begged Him countless times, pleaded with Him 2 fill this void of intimate love with Himself, bt it feels like my cries 4 help have fallen on quiet ears; ears that hear bt are still. I do struggle 2 see the good in my life coz it seems like the bad always overrides it and overwhelms me.
At the end of the day, nothing lasts forever, especially the bad times. Everything has a beginning and an end. There’s hope at the end of the tunnel, as dark as it is. You just have to keep walking through the tunnel and believe that that shimmer of light will appear and you can finally be who you were meant to be, a person with great potential to do great things and a person who is loved unconditionally.
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